Dan Shaughnessy, in introducing a column about how good it is to be a Red Sox fan right now, writes:

You will wake up today and gaze in the mirror and you will look like Brad Pitt (Cameron Diaz if you are a woman). Your front lawn will resemble the 18th green at Augusta and there will be a Cadillac Escalade in your driveway. There won’t be a cloud in the sky, there will be no traffic on the roads, and the toll booths all will be gone on the Mass. Pike.

This caught my eye because it so succinctly wraps up a bunch of awful (to me) aspirations. Is this the American Dream nowadays? Vanity, environmental disregard, overpriced and unnecessary luxury, and not having to pay for what you use? Where’s the part about health, family, friends, peace or honor? That list of good things couldn’t get more ego-centric unless you added 3 inches (two cup sizes if you are a woman).

Now, this is just a sports column, and essentially a throwaway thought to set up how sweet it is to have Boston kick Yankee ass. But that’s telling. Everything in there except wishing for good weather is mildly repugnant to me. How many people read that and said “yup, that would be just about perfect.”?

Happiness, it seems, is prettiness, or dumping energy wasting fertilizers on your grass, or being able to cushion your ass while you own the road, which you shouldn’t have to share or pay for.

Aspiring to the Worst

4 Responses

Leave a Reply